"My lawyer's lawyer said he can get my lawyer off so my lawyer should be in court for me."
"Your lawyer's lawyer? What the hell did you do?"
"Pissed on some Russian prostitutes, a little nepotism, raw dogged a porn star and lied about it, I am slumlord, used my political connections to profit personally, signed off on people using tax dollars to fund their personal trips, wrote down shit on some pieces of paper and forced others to live by it , tried to sue people who called me names after I verbally attacked them, I haven't paid taxes in 10 years, fired some asshole who kept trying to investigate me and my friends, grabbed a few random women by their pussies - hey they like it - , watched some teenage girls get undressed, sure as fuck am not renting my houses to black people, sold some fake diplomas to a few dumbasses, hired some undocumented pollocks in the 80's, rigged some gambling machines in my casinos, some jackasses claim I didn't pay them, a few fraudualant realestate deals, bought my own books with campaign dollars and kept the royalties, smuggles some models into the country so I could bang them - even married one of them, set up some tax dodging foundations, remember that Cuba embargo I bitch about that last jackass lifting - I totally violated it in the 90's, and I conspired with a government known to be an enemy of our country to influence federal elections. Nothing too bad, I don't know what they are bitching about."
"Your lawyer's lawyer? What the hell did you do?"
"Pissed on some Russian prostitutes, a little nepotism, raw dogged a porn star and lied about it, I am slumlord, used my political connections to profit personally, signed off on people using tax dollars to fund their personal trips, wrote down shit on some pieces of paper and forced others to live by it , tried to sue people who called me names after I verbally attacked them, I haven't paid taxes in 10 years, fired some asshole who kept trying to investigate me and my friends, grabbed a few random women by their pussies - hey they like it - , watched some teenage girls get undressed, sure as fuck am not renting my houses to black people, sold some fake diplomas to a few dumbasses, hired some undocumented pollocks in the 80's, rigged some gambling machines in my casinos, some jackasses claim I didn't pay them, a few fraudualant realestate deals, bought my own books with campaign dollars and kept the royalties, smuggles some models into the country so I could bang them - even married one of them, set up some tax dodging foundations, remember that Cuba embargo I bitch about that last jackass lifting - I totally violated it in the 90's, and I conspired with a government known to be an enemy of our country to influence federal elections. Nothing too bad, I don't know what they are bitching about."
by Nutzen YerMouf April 12, 2018